One of the earliest problems I encountered in my life was the way I dealt with stress. When given a major project or a deadline, I usually work myself to exhaustion on the first day, first week, and often times until it's done. For example, I once created an original 50 page website on Apples in one night for a class project. Did I need to make it 50 pages? Yes. Did I need to do it in one day? My eyes still wish I hadn’t. It isn’t that I try and get it “out of the way”, but it’s more that I have trouble sleeping if I don’t know exactly what I have left to do. And even when I do know what I have, I check and recheck lists and outlines just to be sure its accurate. Even further, I have a very negative outlook on my own works (written, visual, etc) and it’s extremely difficult for me to be happy with what I produce. Maybe it’s a low self esteem or a keen ability to fish for compliments, but I have always been this way.
Knowing this when I entered the EMDTMS program had me terrified before the start of month 1. Aside from learning about educational gaming, digital literacy, and memorizing Bob Dylan’s Subterranean Homesick Blues, I also managed to deal with my stress in a much more normal process. The most important change comes in a thought process based on the words, “everything is going to be ok.” This simple statement (repeated throughout the day, over and over…) has left me with a sense of calmness and positivity. My girlfriend has learned to simply pretend to listen to me explain what I have to turn in, as she knows I’m only going through my list. Maybe my tendencies lean to an OCD diagnosis, but when I thought they would be at their worst, I actually made it out alive. Well, At least to month 11.
I'm glad that you've made it this far and that you have a significant other who is smart enough to know how to play along. That's such an important thing, to have someone to share the journey with, without laying too much of the burden on them.
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